Growing up, softball was a huge part of my life. There are so many memories attached to those fields and the way that they helped shape my adolescence. One particular memory is voluntarily working the concession stand. While this was probably a dreaded task for most of the parents and coaches, as a young teenager, it was something that I looked forward to. There is one comparison that I can draw from working the concession stand to many other situations in life since – when people come, they either come up to the window to order all at once, or not at all. It’s either slow moving, or hectic.
In a similar sense, it’s almost like “When it rains, it pours.” In ministry, it often either feels like you’re living the dream, and all is smooth sailing (for the most part), or, like everything around you is falling apart at once. Burdens to help the hurting carry, healing to help the broken process, Good News to take to those who have none. All the while, knowing that there are probably people complaining to others about how things are being done. In these situations, how do we process gossip and criticism in a Biblical and healthy way?
In short, like Jesus would. But what does that practically look like? It’s easy in these moments to feel defensive – to know that people have no concept of what it’s like to be on the other side. To see the places of people’s hearts that are busted wide open, the places you get the privilege of pouring the balm of Christ into, while others form their unknowing opinions because of the privacy that takes place while hearts are healed and restored. In the flesh, it can feel like you want to display your calendar of appointments along with your to-do list, baring all the things that you are processing as you help others process, letting them know that there is no handbook for ministry, it is simply leading people to Christ. In the midst of these emotions, we have to take a step back and remember these 3 things:
- You don’t have to defend yourself.There are very few other vocations where people are analyzing what you do in such an analytical way. This is especially prominent when people have a prideful heart (thinking their way is better) or a selfish heart (the motives are to be served and have things done at their convenience in comparison to serving others). In both cases, instead of slander or complaining, the frustrated party should always go directly to the person in leadership. (Matthew 5:9 and 18, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32) However, when this doesn’t happen, we can observe the way that Jesus responded to criticism. Incomparable to our own lives, as Jesus heads to the cross, he remains silent when faced with false accusations and allows the Father to continue carrying out His will for Jesus’ life. (Luke 23:6-12) What God does through the resurrection of Jesus probably speaks more profoundly than anything that Jesus could have said in those moments. And so, it is with us – God is our defense. And the testimony of what He does in our lives speaks more about who we are than when we try to defend ourselves.
- Always assume the best and ask questions.This one comes from my husband, who is so great at this. We all know it’s true…hurt people, hurt people. Sometimes, individuals just need to feel heard. Maybe they struggle communicating their point in the way that they should. As shepherds, it is our role to hear their concern and approach them with a humble heart. There may be some pieces of feedback we can learn and grow from, and other pieces we know won’t be a good fit. But the way we handle “complaints” says a lot about who we are as leaders.
- Continue on in the call to love those right in front of you.Regardless of anything anyone ever says or thinks, it does not change the calling that God has placed on each of our lives. When we look at the ministry of Christ, it is built upon seeing those who may normally be overlooked and stopping to show grace and love to those who need it in that moment. Christ’s ministry is strategic through a relational lens, pouring Himself out equally for those who were both easy to love and difficult to love. (Luke 6:32-26) At the end of the day, we are not working for the approval of man, but the approval of God. (Galatians 1:10) If we know that God has called us to minister where we are, the way that we are, then we can walk confidently (yet humbly) in that calling. Not everyone will understand. Not everyone will like it. But God has not called them to your position of leadership – He has called you. Every human being has flaws and shortcomings. When we own our shortcomings, we don’t have to defend ourselves. We are free to love the way Jesus does, because we understand the grace of God in our own life. There is nothing that anyone has over us when we are willing confess to our own need for grace. By living in the grace of Jesus, we are able to handle the judgement of others as we lead in ministry. When our leadership is criticized or people are difficult, may we be a people who pray and ask, “Lord, how can I minister to and partner with this person?” May our ministries reflect the love and grace of Jesus because our lives do.
